Yup. That's me, Grudgy Greta. I can hold one with the best of them! I can remember a slight from way back. I can often call it back to memory resulting in the most unpleasant, heart pounding, voice cracking, shrill speaking retelling of said grudge, as if it happened yesterday, or this morning, or last hour...
I don't have a grudge book, per se. I do have a catalogue in my head that lists the grudges that wander about my brain, and most often only come out to Hubby. He shakes his head and tsk-tsks me, but he knows I have donned the Grudgy Greta persona and he simply leaves me to stew in my own juices. Sometimes, Hubby in his infinite wisdom tells me "Don't be that way..." To which I often reply, "What?" Such an intelligent answer! I do know when I am doing the GG thing... I just don't care. I don't even know, honestly, if I want to care.
I remember comments about my lack of housekeeping (duh! There is so much more to life than a mopped floor...), sit downs where I was blatantly told I was lacking in the marriage material category, once being told to "take your meds!", laughter at pictures which obviously show my lack of photogenic abilty- I remember them all. I can recall said grudges snappily to mind in the middle of an argument. I don't always bring them up in the argument, but I can recall them for the needed verve to eventually win the fight outright! Sometimes I throw them out there (sorry, Hubby) and the fight comes to a screeching halt - erch! You can see me then, hand on hip, eyebrows crunched... Ugh! Such an attractive look - NOT!
Most of all, I can't stand being lied to. In the land of grudges, these are the hardest to let go. I have confronted liars in my past that are so caught up in their own web they cannot even admit what lie is actually a lie! Those type of people I tend to cut out of my life pretty quickly. I just can't let those grudges go... Call me dogmatic or unforgiving. I have heard it all! It all fits, and I still cannot seem to help myself....
The upside of being Grudgy Greta is that I am fiercely loyal. I do love those friends I have and I would go to bat for them in any situation. I would stand in fire to vouch for a friend... I call that part of my personality Trudy True-Blue. She is a much nicer person to have around. I like her a lot. Especially when she contacts a best friend who is crying in the toilet bowl she is scrubbing because her "so unclean" house is about to be set upon by family and friends. She is the gal that says, "What can I do?" She is the one who takes you out of that toilet and reminds you that she has seen that house in disarray before. She is the one who brings to light the true bonds of friendship by saying, "I am coming to see you - Not your home!"
I like Trudy.
I live with Greta.