Skeletons in my closet...

Can't remember where I saw this post... But thanks to whoever did it... Think it was Extranjera.

• I watch two movies when I need a pick me up. No judging here... Fried Green Tomatoes and When Harry Met Sally. I love to shout "Tawanda!" at the top of my lungs when I am frustrated - very liberating! I also find the cafe scene with Meg screaming out her ecstasy incredibly funny! Makes me laugh out loud every time. In part, because it is so over the top and because it is so very, very, VERY true!
• I am secretly jealous of my best friend's horse. She knows how I feel, mostly. But still, I wish he was mine... I haven't felt that way about a horse in a very long time and I am reticent to explore what that would mean for me again. So I just watch and truly wish her the very best in her career with him.
• I was once a Hooter's girl. Now THAT'S a skeleton, people! Yes, I wore those ridiculous shorts and shirts. No, I was not particularly buxom. Yes, I could probably still pour beer and hula-hoop at the same time. (You can quit rolling your eyes now!)
• I am addicted to office supply stores. I don't HAVE to buy anything. I just enjoy walking up and down each aisle... Even the packaging supplies. It is a sickness that I am hoping they do not find a cure for. I could also buy pens until I was bankrupt. There is NOTHING like a good pen... Or a stick pen... Or a free pen. Like I said, it's a sickness!
• I love purple. I have often purchased things that I didn't really need just because they are purple. I don't know if I look good in the color, but I have friends that are kind enough that they don't tell me either way. I would wear it anyway and I think they know that. I would also carry a water bottle, buy a purse, wear incredibly painful shoes, keep my money in a faux croc wallet or anything else as long as it is a shade of purple. Lilac, violet, amethyst, plum, mauve, mulberry... All shades, doesn't matter. If you are looking for a gift for me... Try a purple pen! Purple is my zen color.
• I fear getting old. Not really old... The 90+ range, that seems kinda cool. But that in between old where I feel irrelevant and my kids no longer get me. The kind of old that keeps you from wearing cute clothes and high heels. That awkward old that is remenicent of the horrible teen years. Too old to do silly, compulsive things, and not old enough to do it any way and get away with it. I don't want to get that kind of old and I have vowed to fight it every step of the way. Until, of course, I can do those things I find hilarious and get away with them because I have earned the right to be silly again.
• I used to own two ferrets. I really loved them. One died of cancer and I gave the other to a good home. They were my first almost-dog pets. I put myself into incredible debt getting them and refused to discuss the cost with my parents when they asked. Made me feel terribly grown up. Yes, they stunk horribly. No, I was never bitten. And believe it or not, they kept mice away! Probably the stench! Almost kept my husband away!
• I miss the person I was before I had kids. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my munchkins. They are the reason I get my bones out of bed each morning. But I secretly wonder what I would be like today if that pesky clock hadn't ticked so loud I couldn't hear anything else. Maybe I don't miss who I was, but the thought of who I might have been. Would I have traveled? Would I have stayed in the state I and three other generations of my family have stayed for the last 150 years? Would I have been this crazy? I know I wouldn't love this much! My heart often aches from the love I overwhelmingly receive from my children.

What are your skeletons?

OK... I'm tired now!

Call me a sap, or lazy, or just fad-ish. I am simply beat! Couldn't resist getting the Wii-Active today. I know, I know... Just more money! But I am actually sweating and gleefully tired! I did the first workout, which was creepily cheered on. That is much improved from the Wii-Fit which asks sarcastic questions like, "Do you trip when you walk?" Not nice! This little lady just cheers and cheers! I am a workout supa-sta!!!

But really, folks! If you are looking for that extension of the Wii-Fit that keeps you moving, this is it! Thanks, KS, for being the first to get it and let me know it is a butt-kicking workout! I thouroughly enjoyed every minute of it. Even the part that made my butt hurt!

Don't, however, expect any pictures! I am still very much out of shape. Maybe after I complete the 30 day challenge it has cooked up for me...

I have a new book that I am going to open and start tonight. The perfect ending to a not-so-perfect beginning...

c ya!

Reality sucks...

OK Julochka... You said in your post that to be a good blogger, you need to be real... I struggle with that! Not the real part that is my happy self. But that real part that is the whiny, inconsolable, pain in the butt that not even I like to be around. That person that has been overloaded sensory-wise and just wants to sit in a room with her computer and blog about what a crappy mood she's in...

It started today with my blog reading... I usually really like this part of my day. I get to catch up and read those that I hold in high esteem and dream about someday being as eloquent as they are. I even get to chuckle sometimes. Today was not that day. One of the blogs I have really enjoyed in the past just hit me wrong. Normally, I can let things of this nature roll off my back, but today - Not so much. I was insulted by its insinuation that I was a kluge, an ignoramus, a dinosaur. I don't like feeling like that. Especially after turning 40. I'm still tender over that. I didn't like the delivery, which I usually find hilarious. All day I tried to shake that feeling of disappointment... Couldn't get there. Ever run into to someone you haven't seen for a while? Or start up a inconsequential conversation in the line at the grocery and suddenly the person you are talking to begins down a road that starts to become very uncomfortable for you? That's how I felt today. I expected the quirky, cynical, tongue in cheeky-ness that I have come to admire and have often fallen out of my chair laughing at. I took it today as condescending, judgemental, bitter-banter. And then I re-read the post and things evened out.... It wasn't personal, though I had taken it there. But it got me thinking about things that irritate me about being a Christian in today's polically correct world...

OK - Enough of being cryptic. Time to get real... I am a Christian. I don't run around accosting people and asking perfect strangers if they know Jesus. But I do give credit for a lot in my life to Almighty God. There has been enough in my life that can not be explained any other way, and to simply chalk it up to karma or fate seems the most empty and sad way to live - FOR ME. I do not talk down to those who don't want to believe in Christ. I don't walk about with an air of superiority because I have an "in". I don't treat those who don't live a Christian life (which by the way, in my estimation, is incredibly flawed and not a model of perfection by any standard) as if they are beneath me and in no way capable of an intellectual view point.

I am greatly insulted by those that treat my belief system as if it were a crutch or the ravings of an ignoramus. I do not in any way feel that I must blame every bad thing that happens on Satan and I do take a little credit when I do something well. I also live in a fallen world. That world is full of crappy folks that do crappy things. Yup, I said "crappy"! But if I choose to believe that my successes are a gift given to me because God so chose, I think that I should still be afforded the politeness with which I try to treat those who tell me believers are ignorant simpletons with no imagination or capabilities to accept their lot in life. I simply choose to give credit to God for blessing me with the things I have in my life that mean so very much to me. I have so much around me that just shouts His name! The beauty in my back yard is just a small sampling of that.

Why is it that those who choose to believe in nothing or to sit on the fence about what they believe feel the need to speak of Christians as a group not even deserving of basic courtesy? I realize throughout history Christendom has had it's historical acts of indiscriminate violence and hatred. Gotcha... That was incredibly evil and despicable and in no way excusable as anything but reprehensible. And I realize that today there are still those who approach the world with their crosses held high, alienating those who see them with their hate-speech and hypocritical stances. Got it. I am not that person. I am intelligent - well, most of the time. Don't ask anything of me that requires detailed math or algorithms... But I digress. I am an intelligent sentient being with a lot to say that doesn't have to alienate others who don't believe the way I do. In fact, I try very hard to not alienate others with what I believe. I think THAT is more important that being "right" or being "smart". I think that if I live the way I believe, I can reach far more people than if I am constantly SAYING what I believe and missing the mark with how I live. Quite frankly, I miss the mark often! That is the whole point of Christianity. It isn't to live perfectly, it is to show that there is no perfect way to live and we all fall short, thus the need for a saviour... And I have needed a saviour more than once in my life! But in order to be saved from anything, the person needing the saving has to ASK for the saving... If you throw a life preserver to someone who is simply swimming along, they are going to look at you askance and wonder what in the world is wrong with you! If you hit them over the head with the preserver, you should expect for them to throw it back at you with some force! I try to make it a practise to not throw things at people...

I try very hard to be accepting of those that are not where I am at in my faith. I hope and yes, I pray, that those that are closest to me will be a part of my faith, but I am accepting if they do not. It isn't my job to MAKE them be anything. That, I believe, is God's job. I have enough to do without taking that on! But don't expect me to not bristle when I am called ignorant or simple. I am still hoping for a little respect.

That is my real. I hope my whining is over now.

Outside my own back door...

I just read the most wonderful post about being in the moment... Thanks Muse! I love the idea of it and find myself often out of the moment for otherwise very good reasons! So much to do all the time and so little time to get it all done!

There was a time I really wanted to install a bench among the wildflowers to have a nice spot to drink my morning coffee and pray. But with all the wildlife in the area, I just can't bring my citi-fied bones to get enough courage to do it. The cougar is daunting enough without the packs of coyotes to add to it! But it is so beautiful!!! I seriously rethought my decision as I knelt in the soft, damp earth to take these photos.

The delicate flowers are just so amazing to me! I felt like I was in another world and was wishing the threatening rain would wait just a minute for me to get one more shot...

The stump captured my imagination... I can stare at this pic forever... So many nooks and crannies. It looks alot like a snake out of the basket of a charmer. I was pretty amazed at the details I had missed for so long. I really do need to stop and smell my roses... Or primroses, as it were. So often I forget how beautiful this place is just outside my back door. It was a great time to refresh that memory and bring back to life the desire to sit engulfed in it and just ponder.

Hope you enjoyed a small piece of my back yard. I sure did!

Sunday Morning Surprises

I love to surprise my husband with things I rarely do...

• I rarely bake... But this morning I made waffles.


• I rarely make breakfast... But this morning I made waffles.


• I am not a morning person and rarely eat before noon... But this morning I made waffles.


• I rarely want to move too much on Sunday mornings... But this morning I made waffles.

I love the look on his face and the wariness with which he traverses the kitchen when I do these things... He approaches me like a wild animal he doesn't want to scare off. No sudden moves, or I might abandon the warm vanilla smelling stack of waffles for my computer or a hot bath. Sometimes he tries "helping" which always turns out disastrous, mostly because I yell... I want to be the only butt in our kitchen creating a huge mess! He wants to poke at me, like hubby does, and often giggles on his way back to his couch in the living room. Every now and then he punctuates the morning with encouraging comments from his post in the way of, "MMMMMMM! Smells good, whatever it is!" or "I don't know what I did to deserve it, but you're wonderful!" That's how I like it... Adoration from his perch, while I grin & make homemade triple berry syrup to boot.

Because that's how I roll... Rarely!

Congrats Jess!

My brother's fiance is finally done with school! She is going to be a dental hygienist... At least I think that's the story... If I got it wrong, huge apologies!

I grabbed up Boy and headed to the family gathering they had at Jess' mother's home in Arvada. It was a very nice and quiet evening, the only exception being that Boy and Jess' dad kept getting way too rowdy! As mine was the only child there under 21, I knew the squeals were his! It was a good time and I enjoyed reconnecting with Bro, who is my favorite brother! We are simpatico on many levels and where we are diverse I delight in our differences! Plus, he does very cool computer-y things for me! I LOVE THAT!

Congrats Missy! Yay! Now, go find a job! he he!

Millie was content to chomp on a chewy bone... Clearly not impressed with the momentous occasion!

Things I love about working from home...

Feel another list coming on? Well, you are right on! Are you psychic????

• I love the way that I can be around my husband and family, even when I have a deadline and have to work late.
• I love being able to eat at my desk with no-one hounding me about crumbs or coffee rings.
• I love the quiet mornings at the kitchen table with no one to listen to but my own tap tap on the keyboard...
• I love being able to "run away from home" if it all gets too scary!
• I love being interrupted by my office mate who is always so positive!
• I love the way I always seem to overbook myself because I should have all this time...
• I love the feeling of accomplishment when on those rare days I actually get it all done, even though I report to no-one but myself (oh, and 30 other clients...)
• I love making lists to check off, or highlight in different colors, to keep me focused on what needs done.
• I love being able to chat or take personal calls while I'm working... Makes the day go by much faster!
• I love what I do! I can choose which hat to put on and when that hat gets too heavy, I switch!
• I love being able to be home when my kids get off the bus... No matter how old they get, they still like me to be home when they are.
• I love saving money on gas and not having to fight the traffic! I get to plan my trips to town avoiding the busiest travel times.
• I love being able to step out of my office and go love on horses. That really makes my mind reset when I'm working on something hard.
• I love working with a cat on my lap... Well, mostly... Sometimes I wish I didn't have TWO cats in my lap!

For those who have "town-jobs", I admire your dedication! I don't know that I could ever go back... I have become quite unruly in my maturation!

yay!!!!! Geek Police are so cool!

Ok... Now that I have your attention! GeekPolice.net is a BB that is helping me figure out what on earth is wrong with Em's computer! (Mama B knows what's wrong... Gotta virus when we didn't load our safety software properly! tsk, tsk!) But these guys are seriously cool! If you ever get in a pickle, just log onto http://www.geekpolice.net/ , create a free account and post your question. A GeekCop will start helping you almost immediately. I have been working with this guy for over a day now and he is absolutely the bomb! He is incredibly patient and just keeps plugging away with me. Even when I made some silly mistakes.

That's my plug for the day! Hopefully by this time tomorrow, Em's computer will be all sparkly clean and she can use it again... With Anti-virus installed and Staying the heck off MySpace!!!

ta-ta!

Mema, farewell!

Mema, aka Edith Dameron, my Dad's mother, has passed away. Mom and Dad are on their way to Maryland to pay their respects and help settle what they can. It is not a pleasant thing to do, but as I have said, the funerals in our lives are not for the dead... They are for the living. A time to say their good byes and make arrangements to cope with the loss they feel. The deceased is, hopefully, in a much better place as we make our way through our grief to the healing part of the process.

Mema was an incredible lady that I admired and loved. I was much older than my siblings, and so my perspective is not as acute as theirs may be, but there are certain things I would like to remember about Gramma D.

• I loved the little apricot cookies she made... Light and tart, but not too sweet. It made eating handfuls of them so easy, until you got the stomach ache!


• Her amazing frosting, that was so very hard to duplicate in Colorado! Mine always came out a little like Spackle, instead of the frothy light confection she would spoon onto cupcakes




• The things she could do with those hands of hers! I learned to tat (lace made with a small shuttle) and crochet after being inspired at her side. She was never idle when I knew her and that was inspiring in and of itself.



• Her sense of humor was infectious! She could be one-liner funny in a way that just had you rolling!


• Mema was patient. She was understanding when I was a teen intent on being sullen over leaving my boyfriend at home on Christmas.... And she knew when I was just being ignorant.


• Mema was strong. I don't recall much complaining when she was well. And the few complaints I did hear about had much to do with not being able to be independent anymore... I do know that frustrated her greatly.


• Mema came from an era that took care of its own. When relatives got sick, you took them in. It was not a burden. It was a duty, and one she shouldered for her own family.


• So many of the things I remember about Mema center around her home. It was quiet and welcoming. It was clean and white and the kitchen was bright and airy. She had the spookiest basement I can ever remember as a child, but she made me go down there anyway!


• I loved the woods behind her home and the coolness of the trees as I walked them with my dad. So much to see and smell and watch!


• I loved the spirit with which Mema lived. There were times she was difficult to please at the end, but her spirit taught me much and helped me hold to my faith when I thought I might just be forced to give up.

I love you Mema! I hope that in this time you are safe and well again. Watching all of us from above and commenting at how it all looks from your perspective now. I cannot think of her in any way but the best way, and to those who cared for her in the end, I thank you for that. I know your memories may not be as pleasant. I do not know the person she was just before her passing. I cannot say I am sad of that. I do know she was an inspiration and a comfort to many. May she enjoy her time in the presence of her Lord. It is well deserved!

Another Success...

We have pulled off another successful clinic this weekend and actually made some money for the club! I also made a little vacation money with running a snack bar and Quin made tips to the tune of about $6! It was a fairly good weekend!

We had a clinic sponsored by RMRHA and Tom Foran flew in from California to put it on. He was a very generous clinician and donated his time due to the fact that the economy slowed attendance way down. With some creative thinking and flexibility, Hubby pulled it off and raised over $1K for the club, even after expenses!

I feel absolutely blessed to be able to look at all the little things God has been doing in my life to make things just flow! It has been refreshing and wonderful and a little daunting at times. Thanks to all of you who don't throw the baby out with the bathwater and leave me standing! I love and appreciate you all!

Spaghetti tonight...

It's my lazy meal.... Spaghetti and meat sauce. It is warm and comfy and quick - VERY Quick!

Hubby is at the vet again tonight. I call them his Date-Nights. He goes late, on the verge of after-hours and brings more horses than he plans on and talks... It is wonderful though that he can do that. Most vets in our area would not allow the things he gets away with. Pays to be nice, pay your bill and try to be considerate. There are definitely things we have lost in the age of convenience and instant messaging!

Daughter is growing up way too fast! Q is 12 and I look at her and think, what an amazing person in that skinny little body! She just floors me with her attitudes and insights. I wonder if this is what my mother talks about when she says she is very proud of how I turned out... And Quin is not done turning out yet, either!

Boy is doing wonderfully and needs yet another haircut!!!! How is it that hair grows that fast????? Man hair is weird and amazing stuff. I think Levi and Shane could both go to the barber once week and have hair on the floor each time! He is so imaginative! Runs around the house with his "light-saber" or "sword" (both the same utensil, just different imaginings), making marvelous swishing sounds.... And little grunts of exertion... I remember being that imaginative. I had whole worlds I would visit!

Hoping to make it to church tomorrow night. We have a clinic coming on, so it may get tricky. Shane has said he would pick up our guest, but I don't know if I want to leave him alone with that task. It has been a very full week and we are not even close to done! But we'll pull it out, I am sure of it!

Got a good night's sleep last night - thank you NyQuil! Hoping to repeat tonight and wake up tomorrow without this sore throat. It is the only symptom I have left of my short lived sickness.

My mom never gets sick....

ah yes... Flu season. That should say it all.
I don't ever remember a time in my life as a child when my mother was sick. I remember tears, but not sniffles. I remember angst, but not illness. My mom just never got sick! And if she did, she hid it from my narcisistic little butt rather well! I guess that would explain the reason I reacted with such swiftness when my mother did indeed become gravely ill not that long ago. It made me take stock. Made me realize that there are things in this life you cannot get back. Things you cannot unsay once said, and things that you can only speak into the air once that person is gone. It made me think about my life without my mother and it made me think about my children. Because of her illness, I take care.

• I take care to not say that thing that pops into my head in anger
• I take care of my silly food issues, even though they are inconvenient and expensive
• I take care to talk to my kids, casually and with all the love I can muster
• I take care to not snap when for the six hundredth time I am asked where something I don't use is located
• I take care of our animals and love them when my children are terribly distracted
• I take care to always part on a loving note, especially when getting into a car
• I take care to reach out, even when it wasn't my fault it turned out so badly
• I take care to love my husband even when I want to throw my shoe at him
• I take care to remember that funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living.
• I take care to pray for those that mean the most to me, whether they know it or not

I love my life. I don't love the flu. I am treating mine with copious amounts of dirty martinis and garlic olives. I'll let you know how it turns out... Maybe.

Comfort Friends

I have this comfortable friendship. It's the kind of friendship that beckons when you know you should be doing something else. Let me explain:

• It's magnetic and fresh like puppy love.
• It's worn and comfortable like broken in slippers.
• It's exciting and yet we can sit and talk blandly about nothing, sometimes even trailing off into silence as we sip our coffees, or lemonades or anything liquid.
• It's a liquid friendship, changing and shifting, filling each of my nooks and crannies, refuling me each installment.
• It is a solid meal for my heart when I need it most, even when I didn't think I needed it.
• It's laughing until I can't catch my breath about things most inappropriate, and sometimes downright silly
• It is letting tears stream down my face without fear of my running mascara - I know they just don't care about that.
• It's knowing that if you touch, the dam will burst and all your emotions will come flooding out... And it's doing it anyway, because you know it is safe.
• It's chatting online when we know we have work to do... And yet, we just have one more question to ask!
• It's the figurative smack on the back of your head when you are acting like a jerk.
• It's the kind of relationship that pulls you out of the house and makes you interact with your world, even though you are protesting VERY much!
• It's the most honest you can be and not be hurtful, because you know it is meant with love, always.
• It's sharing a drink at the bar because you only have so much money between you.
• It's knowing when the other needs a call, even when you haven't seen eachother for weeks!
• It's making drinks on a Saturday and talking until you just know you're going to get a call from the hubby...
• It's the best thing that can happen outside of your family, and yet to not have them would be like loosing a family member

There aren't alot of friendships like this, but the ones you have, however short or long, are to be cherished for a lifetime!

Purrrrrfect...

James is not a cat. James is, as his name intimates, a very sophisticated butler embodied in a velvety furry suit. He is not the groveling butler that scrapes and bows and gets you what you wish at a moment's notice... He is that OTHER butler... The one that mumbles under his breath and walks out of the room you are in and doesn't return. He is snotty and finicky and all the cattitude that anti-cat folk despise.

If he deigns to grace you with his presence there are rules. They are simple rules encompassed by one overriding regulation - It will be his way, or no way at all! He is not dramatic about his requirements, just very determined not to bend. There will be no head petting - unless he decides he wants his head petted, at which point he will put his head in your hand. That is the signal people! If you don't have a cat head in your hand, it is not head-petting time! He will often just desire to sit in your lap. Upon his approach you are to make your lap ready... that means feet on the floor, lap gap closed and an eye to eye acknowledgement that you are ready for his fatness to launch into your lap! Miss one step in the sequence and James will stalk off, in search of your favorite dark sweater to lay on. If, upon seating himself in your lap, the master desires your hands to caress him, you must start just behind his neck and stroke to the tip of his tail. Have no fear, the most piercing look will follow if you have not done it correctly! And any unsolicited head petting at this point will result in the rotund Fat-Master launching off your lap with rear claws deployed to make sure you got his point!

Of the four furry kids we have, James is a mystery. He is a cat that we got completely by accident. A woman who was hauling horses for a friend of hers stopped by to offload and James somehow escaped. As I understand it, he escaped the rather crowded cab of a crew-cab truck stuffed to the gills with 4 children, 2 large dogs and I think another cat. Given his disposition, I am amazed he hadn't just catapulted out of the moving vehicle long before he did. He is resilient and wonderful. And I love his bad attitude! It gives me great joy to sometimes ruffle his feathers, but for the most part, we coexist peacefully. I enjoy the way he harumphs around the house and he forgives me when I cannot resist petting his round, ultra-soft head!

Conversing with rocks

Sometimes I feel like I spend most of my day conversing with rocks. My voice bounces around the room, sometimes at a volume most would find compelling, and lands squarely in my own ears confirming that I am the only one who has heard me!

I tell the rocks to do their chores. I tell the rocks what my plans are for the day, hour, week, year... I tell the rocks not to spill their drinks on the carpet. I tell the rocks that dinner is ready... I talk to rocks!

I suspect that some of you also talk to rocks. Rocks that you love and rocks that you admire and some rocks that really irk you! And sometimes you don't even know that it was a rock you spoke with. You truly thought you spoke with a living breathing entity that heard your comments, your desires, your instructions... It is only later that you realize that it was indeed a solid rock, incapable of making your words into actions.

I guess it is a really good thing that the rocks I speak to take the form of sentient beings - I might be carted off to the looney bin, otherwise!

Happy Anniversary!

Yep! It has been 14 years! Such an amazing ride... Seems like so fast and then like we've known eachother forever!

We spent the night at Union, An American Bistro enjoying eachother's company and some wonderful food! I'm so not a foodie, so no pics of the entrees... Only thing foodie about me is my growing waistline! LOL! We reminisced about where we have come from, dreamed about where to go from here and just basked in our "best-friendship".

I even got flowers! He is just an amazing man!

It's going to be a good one!

You know when you wake up and it just feels like an especially productive day? I have that feeling today! I just know there is something in today that I am going to love!

The horses are running around, full of energy and so happy to be turned out after long days inside! The farrier is here and his hammer rings through the barn. Hubby is on the tractor and I am happily typing the entry to one of my coming-favorite past-times... It's just GOT to be a great day!

Watched "Fireproof" last night - Really disappointed in the quality of acting. And yet, that did not detract fromt the message that had me bawling quietly in the corner of my couch. Powerful. Makes you realize that all the stuff you complain about has been a complaint in every marriage since the beginning of time! Revisited some techniques I would like to start up again. It was a great reminder... If you can get past the terribly corny acting, I would recommend to anyone married or soon to be...

Off I go to ACOMPLISH! Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Rainy Day Mondays

I love the feeling of Monday! The freshness of it, the chance to start over and get this week right... To actually get all the to-do's done this time. I love the sense that I get another chance!

Even after I got to come home from the work-a-day crowd, Mondays always seemed to carry the same kind of "new-startness" to them they did at the office. Now that I work for myself, they still have a certain freshness quality! I think alot has to do with the fact that I get the house to myself once the kids leave for school. I get to take stock and arrange my schedule around something besides dishes, or laundry, or cooking one more time.

To me, Mondays are freedom! They aren't tied down by commitment yet. They don't have anything looming in a deadline yet. Mondays are fresh and untouched, no matter what happened last week.... Well, almost. Sometimes Mondays are fraught with stress because you find out on Friday at 5:03pm that something has to have your immediate attention... Those Mondays I can live without! But for the most part, I love the feeling of starting over. Like a clean sheet of lined paper or a new journal, I get to give it another shot that just might make it all make sense!

Call me crazy! Just don't expect me to answer the call on Thursday afternoon... I've usually checked out by then! Waiting for my next Monday to save me!

Things I love about my zoo...

Good Morning all! I am feeling a bit dreamy and mushy again this morning... Can't say it's the Eggplant this early, although things like that seem to make me reflect more. I wanted to share some simple things that make my life what it is and make me appreciate it each day - Even when appreciating it is vastly difficult!

1. I love the fact that my life is not easy... Those of you who know me, this may shock you! I complain about my difficulties loudly! Sometimes I am even bitter that they seem to come unbidden and frequently into my sphere of being. Hmmmm.... But really, I wouldn't have it any other way! The difficulties in my life make perspective so much easier! When I am just so unsure and low, God gives me a blessing that makes life just so incredibly clear! It is only through the lifting of darkness that the light takes on a welcome tint and sunshine viewed after a period of gloom is so much brighter and clearer than before... I treasure those moments!

2. I am energized by the smell of my world. Ok - So in the written word, that sounds profoundly weird! I mean that I am often connecting moments in my life that bring great comfort with certain smells. In my childhood I was always in my happiest place opening my Grandpa's metal lunch box seeking out the treats he left me once he returned home. There was always an aroma of a freshly peeled orange. Grandpa always saved me something, but those orange peels scented the box and gave me a feeling of comfort in a childhood that I was often confused by. Now, the scents I find most comforting are harder to describe. The scent of the nape of my son's neck as I kiss him goodnight... No longer that baby smell, but still my own kid with all his wild dreams and imaginings. The scent of hay in my daughter's room, telltale signs of two bunnies she loves and cuddles. The musky smell of horses on my husband's coats that hang in the front hall. The comforting smell of a dog at my feet... All of them have communicated to me that I am home. Not just in the house we live in - that has changed through the years - but truly home!

3. I am grateful for the freedom I enjoy in my work. I am so incredibly grateful that I don't have to work at just one thing! I have learned that that is a burden to me... I cannot possibly seem to connect with the duties I am often faced with in running my husband's business with the horses. I love what I do, mostly... The website, the parties, the people... But let's face it straight on, shall we? I am a miserable failure at accounting and filing and returning phone calls... I flog through those things confused and drained! It is at those times that if I am paying any attention I will sneak into my card room and CREATE! In this day and age of electronic communication and the fading of the written word, I make cards! Seems like a venture doomed to failure, but I have made a small go of it! Nothing ground-breaking, but it feeds me! I come out of that room re-energized, if a little groggy and dreamy. And then there is the busyness of the feed business. The interaction with someone else in the office has gotten me back into the swing of actually being there! I didn't realize that I had not been there because I was often alone in there... I am so blessed by my partner's presence, both in my office and in my life!

I am convinced that the toads God presents me with in life are just moments to reflect on how much work he has put into that particular event or person. It make look like just a toad (I found this one while looking for the rental car keys in OKC), but it may be a prince waiting to be accepted into my world and loved for what it is instead of what it isn't.

(Please forgive the incredibly bad photos...)

I couldn't resist! I love this site!!!! Makes me laugh out loud! http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Wow!

I am always amazed at how wondefully God takes care of me! I know that there are times I am extremely negative and morose... He forgives that nasty quality in me and keeps blessing me no matter how unfaithful I am!

I have this little feed business.... Ha ha ha! I thought that that was going to be it. Just get a feed dealership because the shop I was buying from closed down and I needed a reliable way to get feed. Boy was I wrong! Circle SB Feed, llc is taking off from the rafters! As of right now, 6 weeks from opening, we have more clientele than the shop I was ordering from had! I have the best partner I could possibly have asked for and we are of like mind! I am excited every time I open the office door. I haven't been that excited about sitting in the office since Shane and I were able to move here almost 4 years ago! (No offense, Shane!) The horse business has its ups and downs and so it can be very stressful at times. Right now, with the feed we are selling being the best on the market, I see some very big potential! And having a commodity is WAAAAAY different than being in the service business! Different, and yes, I know, I tend to get excited at first... I hope to stay that way! God is really good!

And because I really do love the horsey part of what I do... I have decided to start a "Little Brown Book" of all the clients so that they can have a way to contact eachother without having to get ahold of myself or Shane. I have these big plans to index not only alphabetically but also have a horsey index so that those who know the horse name, but forget the people name can still look eachother up! They all get along so great! It is wonderful to know that we have amazing and fun clients that have become some incredible friends as well. We have often been told that getting this close to our business clients is not always smart... Yeah - We know. But being this involved and loving what we do, we just couldn't do it any other way. We will take the heartaches that some bring to us along the way in exchange for all of the really wonderful and amazing people we have met!

Man! I am sounding all mushy and soft! Ahem! Maybe its the Eggplant Parmesean in the oven or the overcast day! Or maybe I'm just a sap! Yeah - that's probably it!