Finding relevance...

huh...  yeah...  I am still reeling from the latest email to hit the lovely Droid phone.  (Phone actually toots its own horn by bellowing "DDDRRROOOIIID!" when I get an email.  So cool!) Besides the worst picture of a redneck tatoo ever (thanks Tina-Tina! My eyes are still on fire!), I received an email from a gentleman that I met with yesterday.  I fumbled through the meeting stammering and stuttering and trying desperately to remember to look into his face, despite feeling like my hair may actually be on fire.  I was talking to him about a project that I needed some direction on.  I knew I was supposed to talk to him, but I like to keep my projects rather guarded...  I don't like putting out my pearls, despite the fact that sometimes they are supposed to be out there - Thus, the Compliance post earlier...  I realize that right now, I am making very little sense.  It is because I am not sure what form this project is supposed to take.  I don't know if it means another blog, a self published project, or what...  So don't hate me because I'm being vague. (That means you, McG!)

The email has me reeling because the man I met with didn't tell me I was an amateur hack. (He is a publisher with a large organization here in Colorado.) He didn't do a bunch of "editing" by using a large red sharpie marker and writing "Start over!" at the top, like I expected.  He had suggestions.  Ones I am taking into sincere consideration.  But he didn't leave me in a steaming, torn up heap on the floor.  He actually told me things I never thought I would read about me.  They are things I am embarrassed and reticent to share, lest I be held to a higher standard than I am ready for.  Let's just say he didn't think I stink!  (Ha ha ha!  He might if he reads that sentence!)

I will share more as I come to understand what it is I am to do with the products of this new project.  In this land of economic down turn, I am looking at probably starting a companion blog, maybe doing some self-funded publishing (since my name isn't King, Patterson, Rivers or Lucado I likely won't find a traditional publishing company to take a chance on me).

And now, back to our orignal programming...  Laundry on a Sunday! yay...

When your kids grow up faster than you do

:: When did my kids learn how to be such good friends?  They know what to look for in a friend, they can recognize selfish friends, and they are very understanding of those who have "issues".  Where did they learn that?  It certainly wasn't from me!

:: How did my kids decide that they don't have want to follow the crowd?  I was the kid who always wanted button fly Levis because everyone else had them...  I don't have kids like that.  Mine could care less if they go to school in high-waters or hand me down tennis shoes.  They have so much more heart than I did at their age.

:: When did the kids I gave birth to become such caring little people?  They are concious of another's feelings more often than they do what they want.  They fret over hurting a friend's feelings when they are faced with choices for birthdays, outings and small gifts.  They just seem to get it so much faster!

:: Why can my children greet and send off their Dad with so much more understanding than I do?  I am the one with the sour attitude, while they wave and kiss and hug and welcome with big hugs.  I should be the one to understand and be explaining why Dad works so much and is gone alot...  They are so very, very cool that way.

::  My children are so wonderful and attentive, they are both my caretakers and my example.  They love me and I love them.  I am so very proud that they are turning out to be such wonderful kiddos - And obviously I pray that that will move into their adulthood as well!

When asked...

Compliant.  Not a word I would ever try to use to describe myself!  No where near it!  I grouse, I complain, I try to find any other way than that which I have been asked to do.  Sometimes, obedience takes me years...  Yes, I said it and it isn't an exaggeration.  It can take me years to obey.

If I have been absent from this bloggy place, it is because my grudging obedience has me elsewhere.  I am desperately trying to be compliant.  Mostly because I know what the consequences of being disobedient are, not because I am suddenly transformed into something or someone else.  I still have my Grudgy Greta attitude firmly in tact!

I miss blogging here because I can be that person I am so rarely afforded to be in my "regular" life.  (That statement makes me grin a little, because my life is hardly ordinary!  I mean, who of you out there can say that you make a living riding horses and traveling to horseshows?  Not many.  Although that part of the job is my husbands and mine is much more mundane...  Still, to actually make money at what is largely play is pretty cool!)  The person I have to be in our business life is not exactly who I am here, in the blogosphere.  I like it that way, and truth be told, it is necessary.  Not everyone would understand my sense of humor, though I think I am hilarious!  Shane remaining "un-mortified" is a primary goal of keeping my sometimes raw sense of humor in check.  Here, however, I can express myself and no one has to be the wiser!

So I guess my question to all of you is this: How do you react when you are asked to comply?  Do you jump right in or do you hesitate?  Do you take more time than needed to assess the situation because you feel inept or do you just trust that if asked, you must be equipped to complete the task?  Retorical questions, all (man! I miss Blogger's spell check!).  I have been contemplating these questions and the "why's" behind them, so I thought I would throw them out there to all of you to contemplate as well.  After all, misery loves company!

Ah yea... Vegas SO rocks!

OK!  I am so very, very glad to be home, but still...  I had a blast with Husband!!!  And guess what?  I didn't suck at poker this time!  (Not until the last day, anyway!) All told, he ended up third in a poker tournament and I won $167 on a silly old slot machine - Go figure!!!

We had a wonderful room, with a view to die for!  (Isn't this a lovely property?)  Shane found the hotel and did all the research, even checking out the spa amenities to make sure I would be well cared for... He did not disappoint!  It was lovely, the spa was very nice (I find most spas rather creepy, but that is just me...), and if I had brought a swim suit (not likely!), I would have loved to have sat in the sun by the pool.

The view from our room...  That is a vineyard in the foreground...  Sandy-bottomed pool in the back...

Shane has a birthday on the 13th of February...  So if we stay home, he kind of gets gyped out of a day that is truly his own.  I love that we have time together and I can be attentive to him and cater to what he wants to do.  What he wanted to do this year was play cards until his eyes bugged out! And that was exactly what we did.  I had plans that fell through, but that is of little consequence.  We had friends who sent him strawberries (the size of my palm, mind you!), champaign and vanilla custard...  YUMMY!!!!

All in all, it was Fab-boo!  And to top it off, the hotel was largely purple!

(So the carpet was a bit strange...  Eh!)

What a lovely time!

Counting down...

It's that time of year again...  We are under the push to get out the door!  We are headed to Vegas for a long weekend together, Husband and I...  I am at once excited, frazzled, amazed, and energized.  It will be a wonderful time to have him all to myself.  No one calling on the phone, dividing his attentions.  I will have a wonderful surprise for him on his birthday and reservations are made at a very nice restaurant for Valentines Day.  It will be wonderful...

Right now?  Um... Well, right now I am making myself crazy by trying to get all the laundry done!  Bleh!  And kids need packed, and I need to find the suitcases that fit on the plane, because checking bags is ridiculous, and I should figure out what to do for the dogs...  I have a few loose ends to tie up for monies while we are gone...  The house isn't as clean as I would like it, but isn't that just a normal state of being with two pre-teens?  All in all we are counting down...

I will realize tomorrow am as I am buckled in the car that it all is behind me and I can relax into being just a wife for four days.  Until then, it is all ahead of me and I am really certain that I may have to have my gall bladder out when I get back... The symptoms are all there!  And it would be fabulous to feel better!

It is snowing again....

I love the calm quiet way the snow is falling this morning...  It makes clarity a little less of an illusion and more of a seeming reality.  I stop and look and watch as single flakes float slowly down to the ground, gathering together as if arriving at a party... 

I love snow.  Always have.  I have, in my adultness, not relished driving in it, or working in it, or having to worry about my children being driven in it...  But I love snow.  I love the quiet it brings with it.  A hush is always just around a snowy corner, and I love that!  I love crunching through fresh flakes to simply stand, head tilted back, mouth open and tasting the freshness of it.  It makes me feel very young again, fresh and undisturbed.

I often wonder what it would be like to live somewhere that snow is not a part of the scenery or seasons.  My sister does.  She lives in Louisianna and is absolutely in love with the climate there.  I enjoy the difference in what constitues "cold", but I truly love snow.  I would miss it, I have concluded.

***

As an aside, Yay!  So glad the Saints got their time in the spotlight!  What a great game!  Usually things are such a blowout!  I really enjoyed it...  And knowing my Brother-in-Law was going crazy in New Orleans was just a blessing and a half!  To topit all off, I got a picture of the newest Saint's cheerleader!

Looking forward to....

*  Time alone with my husband to be just us.

*  Dinners that don't involve chicken strips or take home boxes

*  Meeting new neighbors over dinner and drinks

*  Simplifying my schedule, my life and my friendships

*  Super Bowl Sunday, knowing my sister and brother in law are cheering like crazy for the Saints!

*  Food... All the glorious food!

*  Feeling more physically sound

*  Mom-time

*  Fresh sheets

*  Paying the first tax installment... On time!

*  New horses in the barn

*  Catching up with new trainers-wife-friend

*  Watching husband truly enjoy himself on his birthday

Just some quick thoughts because I know last time I sounded rather disjointed!  No worries!  I will be back in the swing after the relaunch of Shane's website next week and I get more of THE PROJECT done.  *sigh*  Feeling better already!

Random...

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  Why does God think it fun or maybe funny to pair two individuals who think nothing alike? Seriously... I'd like an answer to that one!
• 
  
  You know those "What I really meant to say" posts like this one here?  I have a few of those... Thinking them is about as close as I'll get, I'm afraid...
• 
  
  The next time life hands me lemons, I'm not making friggin lemonade!  I'm using the little bastards as grenades!
• 
  
  Do you need a get-away car to have a get-away?
• 
  
  How long is the mandatory jail time on robbing a bank? Does that constitute "taking a break"?
• 
  
  What actually preceeds checking oneself into a mental institution?  If it's talking to yourself or random freak-outs, I shoulda been gone a long time ago!
• 
  
  I love learning a new program that makes me look smart...
• 
  
  Getting the mail at our house is a cross between Christmas and a call from the IRS... (Think about that one!)
• 
  
  I looked up and my daughter is an amazing adult-like person. Not sure I like that!
• 
  
   I wish I could find an oil that would be like bottled excitement... And one for eliminating procrastination...  And one to keep from killing those that irritate me...

Have a good day folks! I have to head off to the grocery store.... Pray for me!