Saturday, June 19, 2010

Things I hate about being a woman...

Can you tell it has been one of those days?  Well, one of those weeks, actually!  I don't know what it is, but when Shane leaves the ranch there will inevitably be something that I have to deal with that is very decidedly the territory of boy-decision-land.  Cars, the well pump, major horse issues, fencing blunders, etc.  It always seems to crop up when Man is out of pocket and cannot be reached.

Today started out with a small list of tasks I wished to complete before I headed back to the ranch to get the kids and go summer clothes shopping.  I needed to go to the bank (check), wash the car and wipe it down inside (check), get the oil changed in the car (screeeeeeeeeech!) - And there I became irrefutably mired in Boy-Land!

Why is it when you have boobs (Yes, I said the b-word and I know I may pop up on some unsavory searches...) men instantly think you cannot possibly understand logic?  Makes me insane!  Husband is somewhat of a gear head and I have been around garages for our entire 18 year relationship.  I had to, or I would have not been his girlfriend...  But I digress.  So I know when a mechanic pulls me out of my seat in the waiting room to "show me something", I am about to get really pissed off.  Both because he is about to piss me off and because he is about to try to stick to his story... 

My lovely Ford Edge needed new brake pads on the rear wheels and some might say the rotors needed turning.  I asked the mechanic if we could get away with a pad-slap (very gear-headed-lingo of me!) and I would deal with the rotors when I returned?  He was obviously surprised that I knew that term and he stopped talking to me like an imbecile at that point.  Good choice, Sparky!

Manager-Man was not so smart...  He tried to tell me that the coupon I had for the brake job was not going to cut it and that the labor was more for different brands of pads.  Um....  Gee, Mr Manager, Do I look like my boobs are in my ears?  Or my eyes?  Do I look stupid to you????????  Tell me that there is a difference in labor from one brand of pad to another - Are you wanting me to leap over the counter and wrap your tie around the ceiling fan?????????  Gimme a break!  I looked him squarely in the face and said, "You do realize that that is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard?" and then I mumbled, "I wish my husband were here!"

It is so amazing to me that all at once, the tire rotation suddenly was free, the battery terminal service was removed from the order, and the brake job was reduced by $20. Hmmmm.... 

And if that was not bad enough boy-behaviour, yesterday I spent the majority of my day arguing with an Ebay goober that requiring cash payment was against Ebay policy.  DUDE!  Seriously?  Do you think I was born yesterday????  I am NOT sending you cash!!!  You put the item on Ebay, you can abide by the rules of Ebay and accept PayPal as a form of payment or I'm not buying your crap!  Idiot actually had the b***s to threaten me with "negative feedback" and report me to Ebay...  Amazing how that fizzles when you tell them you have already talked to Ebay-Gods and confirmed that you are within your rights to cancel the sale.  So leave your negative comments, DUDE!  You are sooooooo busted!  (I did get my way, BTW. Because I ROCK!) He got awful cordial and apologized multiple times after that revelation...  Ugh.

Boys... You can't live with 'em, and you better have help to bury them if you shoot 'em!

I'm going to fix myself a drink on the front porch now... No shopping for me tonight!  I might just kill someone!

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