Gobsmacked

Levi's Easter dragon kite

There are times in my life that I have come upon a moment and been absolutely taken aback by either the event itself or by my reaction to it.  This is one of those times.

Yesterday I was clicking along in my day feeling rather productive and safe when I learned of a dear friend's father passing away. We have all known it was coming and it is not a surprise for the most part to any party, but the way that it stopped me in my tracks yesterday (and somewhat still this morning) has me floundering about as if I were lost.

Suddenly I am faced with the reality that there comes a time when there is no more.  No more "I love you's", no more five-more-minutes, no more hugs or smiles or shared laughter. No more. Maybe it is because my husband travels so much and maybe it is simply hormonal, but that struck me dumb and I was thrown unceremoniously into the black pit of no more.... How would I react to my no more moment?

On the wings of angels my friend's father departs us, left standing in the moment of No more.... I am a little jealous.  I wish I were that free, that ready and that excited to see my Lord. I am still very tethered to this life and this family I have. I am still very weepy at the thought of No more...