I am grinning at myself.... Rather smugly, I might add. It is a silly thing, really. I am typing this from the rather bare surroundings of my studio. The walls are not finished, there isn't any electric and the only furniture is a wobbly card table and one lone chair. There really isn't much progress (else you would be seeing pictures, for sure) but I decided that I would not waste such a glorious space by writing my next blog post in it!
As I sit here, the breeze from the open windows confirms what I knew would be a comfortable seating. I am neither too hot, nor too cold. The flies that are buzzing through my unscreened windows aren't even bothering me terribly. The smell of cut lumber piled diligently behind me is soothing and puts a smile on my face as I stare out into the open meadow. From this vantage I cannot see another house or car. There is peace here in the quiet of my studio. The feel of it is exactly as I had hoped it would be.
Rarely these days do things turn out to be exactly as hoped. I feel very blessed and yes, a little spoiled. My husband grinned at me as I lugged the card table and chair out to my happy den. He gets me, he really does. He didn't ask what I was doing, he knew. I have gone to my happy place and all is well with my soul.
As much as I am reveling in the blissfulness of the studio, I am also wondering how some of my friends abroad are doing. They are, themselves, not in the fray but they may have loved ones and friends who are. My heart goes out to them. The feelings of helplessness and anger cannot be easy weights to bear when they are so far away. My prayers go out to them.
My to-do list ticks off in my head: A clinic to get organized, phone calls to make, the last of school supplies to buy... And I am once again back in the land of the living. Last week, I could barely get myself out of bed, the depression was so stark and unrelenting. Today it is as if the cool crisp morning air has jumpstarted my drive once more. Husband is so right when he literally shoves me up out of bed and tells me to get off my duff and DO something. As callus as that sounds, it is exactly what I have to hear if I am to keep going. The hardest thing about my depression is how stagnancy builds on me, miring me deeper and deeper, until I cannot move for the weight of it. It makes it incredibly hard to break free and just DO something.
My new phone is sitting in its FedEx box, staring at me defiantly. I have to set it up, AGAIN... If I let myself get angry about that I might actually ruin my awesome mood. Not yet. At least I have the darned thing before there is a cost to me... Still under warranty. Let's hope this one works more than two months before crapping out.
Pogo is panting at my feet, also enjoying the confines of the studio with what looks suspiciously like a grin on his face. When the Mommy's happy, Pogo's happy! Note to self: Will need a dog bed in studio for His Highness.
I am content... I hope you have a marvelous rest of your week!