Skeletons in my closet...

Can't remember where I saw this post... But thanks to whoever did it... Think it was Extranjera.

• I watch two movies when I need a pick me up. No judging here... Fried Green Tomatoes and When Harry Met Sally. I love to shout "Tawanda!" at the top of my lungs when I am frustrated - very liberating! I also find the cafe scene with Meg screaming out her ecstasy incredibly funny! Makes me laugh out loud every time. In part, because it is so over the top and because it is so very, very, VERY true!
• I am secretly jealous of my best friend's horse. She knows how I feel, mostly. But still, I wish he was mine... I haven't felt that way about a horse in a very long time and I am reticent to explore what that would mean for me again. So I just watch and truly wish her the very best in her career with him.
• I was once a Hooter's girl. Now THAT'S a skeleton, people! Yes, I wore those ridiculous shorts and shirts. No, I was not particularly buxom. Yes, I could probably still pour beer and hula-hoop at the same time. (You can quit rolling your eyes now!)
• I am addicted to office supply stores. I don't HAVE to buy anything. I just enjoy walking up and down each aisle... Even the packaging supplies. It is a sickness that I am hoping they do not find a cure for. I could also buy pens until I was bankrupt. There is NOTHING like a good pen... Or a stick pen... Or a free pen. Like I said, it's a sickness!
• I love purple. I have often purchased things that I didn't really need just because they are purple. I don't know if I look good in the color, but I have friends that are kind enough that they don't tell me either way. I would wear it anyway and I think they know that. I would also carry a water bottle, buy a purse, wear incredibly painful shoes, keep my money in a faux croc wallet or anything else as long as it is a shade of purple. Lilac, violet, amethyst, plum, mauve, mulberry... All shades, doesn't matter. If you are looking for a gift for me... Try a purple pen! Purple is my zen color.
• I fear getting old. Not really old... The 90+ range, that seems kinda cool. But that in between old where I feel irrelevant and my kids no longer get me. The kind of old that keeps you from wearing cute clothes and high heels. That awkward old that is remenicent of the horrible teen years. Too old to do silly, compulsive things, and not old enough to do it any way and get away with it. I don't want to get that kind of old and I have vowed to fight it every step of the way. Until, of course, I can do those things I find hilarious and get away with them because I have earned the right to be silly again.
• I used to own two ferrets. I really loved them. One died of cancer and I gave the other to a good home. They were my first almost-dog pets. I put myself into incredible debt getting them and refused to discuss the cost with my parents when they asked. Made me feel terribly grown up. Yes, they stunk horribly. No, I was never bitten. And believe it or not, they kept mice away! Probably the stench! Almost kept my husband away!
• I miss the person I was before I had kids. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my munchkins. They are the reason I get my bones out of bed each morning. But I secretly wonder what I would be like today if that pesky clock hadn't ticked so loud I couldn't hear anything else. Maybe I don't miss who I was, but the thought of who I might have been. Would I have traveled? Would I have stayed in the state I and three other generations of my family have stayed for the last 150 years? Would I have been this crazy? I know I wouldn't love this much! My heart often aches from the love I overwhelmingly receive from my children.

What are your skeletons?

OK... I'm tired now!

Call me a sap, or lazy, or just fad-ish. I am simply beat! Couldn't resist getting the Wii-Active today. I know, I know... Just more money! But I am actually sweating and gleefully tired! I did the first workout, which was creepily cheered on. That is much improved from the Wii-Fit which asks sarcastic questions like, "Do you trip when you walk?" Not nice! This little lady just cheers and cheers! I am a workout supa-sta!!!

But really, folks! If you are looking for that extension of the Wii-Fit that keeps you moving, this is it! Thanks, KS, for being the first to get it and let me know it is a butt-kicking workout! I thouroughly enjoyed every minute of it. Even the part that made my butt hurt!

Don't, however, expect any pictures! I am still very much out of shape. Maybe after I complete the 30 day challenge it has cooked up for me...

I have a new book that I am going to open and start tonight. The perfect ending to a not-so-perfect beginning...

c ya!

Reality sucks...

OK Julochka... You said in your post that to be a good blogger, you need to be real... I struggle with that! Not the real part that is my happy self. But that real part that is the whiny, inconsolable, pain in the butt that not even I like to be around. That person that has been overloaded sensory-wise and just wants to sit in a room with her computer and blog about what a crappy mood she's in...

It started today with my blog reading... I usually really like this part of my day. I get to catch up and read those that I hold in high esteem and dream about someday being as eloquent as they are. I even get to chuckle sometimes. Today was not that day. One of the blogs I have really enjoyed in the past just hit me wrong. Normally, I can let things of this nature roll off my back, but today - Not so much. I was insulted by its insinuation that I was a kluge, an ignoramus, a dinosaur. I don't like feeling like that. Especially after turning 40. I'm still tender over that. I didn't like the delivery, which I usually find hilarious. All day I tried to shake that feeling of disappointment... Couldn't get there. Ever run into to someone you haven't seen for a while? Or start up a inconsequential conversation in the line at the grocery and suddenly the person you are talking to begins down a road that starts to become very uncomfortable for you? That's how I felt today. I expected the quirky, cynical, tongue in cheeky-ness that I have come to admire and have often fallen out of my chair laughing at. I took it today as condescending, judgemental, bitter-banter. And then I re-read the post and things evened out.... It wasn't personal, though I had taken it there. But it got me thinking about things that irritate me about being a Christian in today's polically correct world...

OK - Enough of being cryptic. Time to get real... I am a Christian. I don't run around accosting people and asking perfect strangers if they know Jesus. But I do give credit for a lot in my life to Almighty God. There has been enough in my life that can not be explained any other way, and to simply chalk it up to karma or fate seems the most empty and sad way to live - FOR ME. I do not talk down to those who don't want to believe in Christ. I don't walk about with an air of superiority because I have an "in". I don't treat those who don't live a Christian life (which by the way, in my estimation, is incredibly flawed and not a model of perfection by any standard) as if they are beneath me and in no way capable of an intellectual view point.

I am greatly insulted by those that treat my belief system as if it were a crutch or the ravings of an ignoramus. I do not in any way feel that I must blame every bad thing that happens on Satan and I do take a little credit when I do something well. I also live in a fallen world. That world is full of crappy folks that do crappy things. Yup, I said "crappy"! But if I choose to believe that my successes are a gift given to me because God so chose, I think that I should still be afforded the politeness with which I try to treat those who tell me believers are ignorant simpletons with no imagination or capabilities to accept their lot in life. I simply choose to give credit to God for blessing me with the things I have in my life that mean so very much to me. I have so much around me that just shouts His name! The beauty in my back yard is just a small sampling of that.

Why is it that those who choose to believe in nothing or to sit on the fence about what they believe feel the need to speak of Christians as a group not even deserving of basic courtesy? I realize throughout history Christendom has had it's historical acts of indiscriminate violence and hatred. Gotcha... That was incredibly evil and despicable and in no way excusable as anything but reprehensible. And I realize that today there are still those who approach the world with their crosses held high, alienating those who see them with their hate-speech and hypocritical stances. Got it. I am not that person. I am intelligent - well, most of the time. Don't ask anything of me that requires detailed math or algorithms... But I digress. I am an intelligent sentient being with a lot to say that doesn't have to alienate others who don't believe the way I do. In fact, I try very hard to not alienate others with what I believe. I think THAT is more important that being "right" or being "smart". I think that if I live the way I believe, I can reach far more people than if I am constantly SAYING what I believe and missing the mark with how I live. Quite frankly, I miss the mark often! That is the whole point of Christianity. It isn't to live perfectly, it is to show that there is no perfect way to live and we all fall short, thus the need for a saviour... And I have needed a saviour more than once in my life! But in order to be saved from anything, the person needing the saving has to ASK for the saving... If you throw a life preserver to someone who is simply swimming along, they are going to look at you askance and wonder what in the world is wrong with you! If you hit them over the head with the preserver, you should expect for them to throw it back at you with some force! I try to make it a practise to not throw things at people...

I try very hard to be accepting of those that are not where I am at in my faith. I hope and yes, I pray, that those that are closest to me will be a part of my faith, but I am accepting if they do not. It isn't my job to MAKE them be anything. That, I believe, is God's job. I have enough to do without taking that on! But don't expect me to not bristle when I am called ignorant or simple. I am still hoping for a little respect.

That is my real. I hope my whining is over now.

Outside my own back door...

I just read the most wonderful post about being in the moment... Thanks Muse! I love the idea of it and find myself often out of the moment for otherwise very good reasons! So much to do all the time and so little time to get it all done!

There was a time I really wanted to install a bench among the wildflowers to have a nice spot to drink my morning coffee and pray. But with all the wildlife in the area, I just can't bring my citi-fied bones to get enough courage to do it. The cougar is daunting enough without the packs of coyotes to add to it! But it is so beautiful!!! I seriously rethought my decision as I knelt in the soft, damp earth to take these photos.

The delicate flowers are just so amazing to me! I felt like I was in another world and was wishing the threatening rain would wait just a minute for me to get one more shot...

The stump captured my imagination... I can stare at this pic forever... So many nooks and crannies. It looks alot like a snake out of the basket of a charmer. I was pretty amazed at the details I had missed for so long. I really do need to stop and smell my roses... Or primroses, as it were. So often I forget how beautiful this place is just outside my back door. It was a great time to refresh that memory and bring back to life the desire to sit engulfed in it and just ponder.

Hope you enjoyed a small piece of my back yard. I sure did!

Sunday Morning Surprises

I love to surprise my husband with things I rarely do...

• I rarely bake... But this morning I made waffles.


• I rarely make breakfast... But this morning I made waffles.


• I am not a morning person and rarely eat before noon... But this morning I made waffles.


• I rarely want to move too much on Sunday mornings... But this morning I made waffles.

I love the look on his face and the wariness with which he traverses the kitchen when I do these things... He approaches me like a wild animal he doesn't want to scare off. No sudden moves, or I might abandon the warm vanilla smelling stack of waffles for my computer or a hot bath. Sometimes he tries "helping" which always turns out disastrous, mostly because I yell... I want to be the only butt in our kitchen creating a huge mess! He wants to poke at me, like hubby does, and often giggles on his way back to his couch in the living room. Every now and then he punctuates the morning with encouraging comments from his post in the way of, "MMMMMMM! Smells good, whatever it is!" or "I don't know what I did to deserve it, but you're wonderful!" That's how I like it... Adoration from his perch, while I grin & make homemade triple berry syrup to boot.

Because that's how I roll... Rarely!

Congrats Jess!

My brother's fiance is finally done with school! She is going to be a dental hygienist... At least I think that's the story... If I got it wrong, huge apologies!

I grabbed up Boy and headed to the family gathering they had at Jess' mother's home in Arvada. It was a very nice and quiet evening, the only exception being that Boy and Jess' dad kept getting way too rowdy! As mine was the only child there under 21, I knew the squeals were his! It was a good time and I enjoyed reconnecting with Bro, who is my favorite brother! We are simpatico on many levels and where we are diverse I delight in our differences! Plus, he does very cool computer-y things for me! I LOVE THAT!

Congrats Missy! Yay! Now, go find a job! he he!

Millie was content to chomp on a chewy bone... Clearly not impressed with the momentous occasion!

Things I love about working from home...

Feel another list coming on? Well, you are right on! Are you psychic????

• I love the way that I can be around my husband and family, even when I have a deadline and have to work late.
• I love being able to eat at my desk with no-one hounding me about crumbs or coffee rings.
• I love the quiet mornings at the kitchen table with no one to listen to but my own tap tap on the keyboard...
• I love being able to "run away from home" if it all gets too scary!
• I love being interrupted by my office mate who is always so positive!
• I love the way I always seem to overbook myself because I should have all this time...
• I love the feeling of accomplishment when on those rare days I actually get it all done, even though I report to no-one but myself (oh, and 30 other clients...)
• I love making lists to check off, or highlight in different colors, to keep me focused on what needs done.
• I love being able to chat or take personal calls while I'm working... Makes the day go by much faster!
• I love what I do! I can choose which hat to put on and when that hat gets too heavy, I switch!
• I love being able to be home when my kids get off the bus... No matter how old they get, they still like me to be home when they are.
• I love saving money on gas and not having to fight the traffic! I get to plan my trips to town avoiding the busiest travel times.
• I love being able to step out of my office and go love on horses. That really makes my mind reset when I'm working on something hard.
• I love working with a cat on my lap... Well, mostly... Sometimes I wish I didn't have TWO cats in my lap!

For those who have "town-jobs", I admire your dedication! I don't know that I could ever go back... I have become quite unruly in my maturation!