Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Great Outdoors...

As a kid in the '70s we did a lot of things for fun. I remember my first bike with the large green banana seat, I remember those incredibly dangerous and painful glass balls on a string that you knocked together until your mother begged you to stop or you smashed your finger between them, I remember Gun Smoke, Starsky and Hutch and Chips on the television, I remember the smell of a brand new box of Crayola Crayons and I always coveted the biggest box with the built in sharpener in the back, I remember roller skates on city sidewalks. As I said previously, I had a pretty cool childhood.

One of the most vivid and wryly wonderful memories I have would also be of the family camping trips we took as youngsters. Living in town all my life (until I married the Man, that is), I simply loved the trips in the car... Wait. I always got carsick... ahem. (And still do to this day, mind you.) Ok, so the getting there was riddled with strife, hoping desperately that the winding road and too many potato chips wouldn't revolt against my young stomach and re-present itself at the most inopportune of times. However, I do remember the wonderfully liberating feeling of climbing out of the cramped back seat and running around our campsite with my sister, exploring to the furthest allowable reaches until Mom called us in for peanut butter sandwiches, or better yet C-rations that were picked up at the Salvation Army Store. I loved the campfires and the roasted marshmallows in the fresh mountain air. I don't have a whit of recollection of how it felt to sleep on the ground, if I ever got cold or sore... It was just great to be a kid in the '70s when camping out was all the rage!

I was in awe of the Coleman stove and the funny smelling lantern that hissed and sputtered into life. There were sites with a creek in them, and while it was probably unnerving for my Mom, us kids always thought those sites were the best! Colorado creeks are never ever warm, so the water was not exactly inviting, but playing with little pieces of wood to float down the current kept us busy for hours. Until of course I had to go to the bathroom...

In that light I am suddenly reminded why it is I have never wanted to go camping in my adulthood. Yes, folks - I am an incompetent outdoors-woman who cannot manage to relieve herself outside without tinkling on her feet, shoes or no shoes. Sad but true. And to all of you helpful sort who think you can give me some advice, I remember as a child standing this way and that, uphill, downwind, etc., etc. Nothing ever seemed to stop the tragedy from happening. And from a gal who absolutely loves footwear, I cannot stand by and say I will ever camp again. My wonder filled childhood memories will have to do, as will camping at the Hyatt!

I think I need a shower now.... and a martini!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Reminiscing...

I have started reading a book for research in my writing. It is called "A Secret Gift," and it is about the gift of one man to one hundred fifty inhabitants of Canton, Ohio during the Depression just days before Christmas in 1933. He gave them a mere $5, but in those times it was an amount that was the difference between eating for a week or nothing. As you can imagine, the content is incredible and moving and has invoked in me the memories of the sheltered bliss of my own childhood. I am definitely not intimating that my childhood was any where near as stress-filled or anguished as those who survived the greatest economic downfall of our time (so far). And for those who like to poke fun, no I am not that old either! It just has me thinking very fondly about the times I didn't have so much on my plate and things just seemed simpler. So I have decided to start a project.

Yes, you guessed it, I am about to inflict upon you a blog project in which I get all misty and gushy over things I remember in my youth - distant as it may be! I have quite a few it seems that flood into my memory just begging to be looked over again and relived, if only just a little.

I have spoken here many times of my Grandmother and her influence in my life. She was a survivor of that same Depression I am reading about. This book has brought many things to mind for me and much clarity about her that I had not had before. Most of which stems directly from the practice these folks all seem to have of not lamenting about their circumstances. It is incredible to me, in my observations of my generation and the Y-gen coming hot on my heels, that they so stoically weathered whatever fate seemed to fall flat in their laps. They didn't cry foul, they didn't slump in their boots, hand out in expectation, they didn't even ask much of the time for the basic necessities of life. They just accepted that times were tough, everyone was in the same boat and they got very resourceful about how to handle it.

Those that did survive the incredibly difficult life of the '30s and early '40s came out marred, but stronger for it. Not all of them found their way out of poverty, but those that did retained a vivid memory of what that time was like. They saved, they lived frugally within a set of means, and they rocked on! My grandmother was one of them. She never ever forgot what living through that was like. She remembered the hunger, the need and the humility and she lived with a healthy fear of returning to that state. She believed that bathing was more important than the latest fashion because it was the least you could do. I remember her saying, "There is no shame in being ragged, there is only shame in being dirty." She reveled in the luxuries of life like mayonnaise, white sugar and M&M candies. And she loved her house.

I spent many days with Gramma at her home. My mother was a single Mom in my early years and I was lucky enough to spend my days in the arms of my Grandmother while Mom supported two girls, working at the local grocery. I loved that house! It was cool in the summer, warm in the winter and some of my earliest memories are recalled sitting in her "front room," wrapped in my security blanket napping on the sofa with the plastic covered arms.

Grandma's house was the land of many treats. There were M&Ms in the ceramic "CREAM" jar, Oreo Cookies in the cookie jar, Oranges and Apples in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator and often homemade popsicles in the freezer. Gramma was not the best of cooks, leaning on the theory that if it's brown it's cookin', if it's black, it's done! But I loved her chocolate chip cookies with the crispy edges and always just a little too much butter. Grandma was a huge patron of store bought ice cream and once made my youngest Uncle trod to the grocery to get more of the treat because he ate the last of it and I didn't have any. (I was not very popular with my teenage Uncle that day!)

I loved playing endlessly in the front room, blocks stacked here and there, Lincoln logs strewn about and many a baby doll lounging half dressed in attendance. Gramma always let me keep the television on and I watched endless reruns of "The Little Rascals," "The Brady Bunch," along with Looney Toones cartoons. She was patient with me and my sibling sister. We were rarely disciplined, but when we were it was crushing. Not because Gramma was harsh, on the contrary - We simply knew we had truly unraveled her last nerve!

Grandma's was where I first used a typewriter, read my first book, learned to love having my feet tickled and made my first mud pies. I loved it there. I miss her still and occasionally find myself longing to pick up the phone and tell her of my day. She never would have believed I own buffalo!

I remember the smell of wood polish, the sounds of the floorboards creaking and the dark upper hallway where I would set up my "office" to play secretary. The shocking Fire-alarm-like sound of the wall telephone would jolt me in my little chair and I would squeak out a yelp every time... It was Awesome! To this day, I love houses with the smooth white plasterboard walls and dark stained trim. It just brings it all back to me.

I had a wonderful childhood, sheltered from the stress and strife I notice my kids are growing up in. I didn't worry about the rent, or how much thing cost. I was coddled that way. It was a good time to be a kid in the 70's and I am very grateful for the time I spent with my Grandparents. Where my mother taught me how to be strong and resilient, my Grandparents taught me about frugal living and gentle spirits. I treasure both lessons deep in my soul.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Studio Update

Yes, folks. I have given up on my other blog editor and finally just paid for an app that might at least allow me to complete some posts I have had floating about in my head... Frustrating that I have had to wait this long!

I have been dying to get my studio up and running, but in the land of do-it-your-selfers there is just nothing to be done abut it. I am at the mercy of the schedules of others and it makes me a little nutty! Especially since I am so very close.... Have a look:

I have a door now. It opens and shuts and even locks! Pretty cool...

Studs... Hat channel and wooden

I have studs! Ones that hold up paneling and insulation eventually...

I refinished this fixture. It was one of those older brass fixtures generously donated by a friend of my project. Some Rustoleum spray paint and an afternoon commitment and I have a much mo modern fixture just waiting to be hung...

These are my red-neck window screens. Soo easy, once I finally figured it that silly staple gun thingy! Now I can open the windows without being dive bombed by the mud daubers...

And last but definitely to least, I have been "stubbed in." Sounds ominous, I know, but it just means that the studio itself is wired and ready to have power tied into it. This is the hardest thing to take above all... I have my little infrared heater bought and I have my coffee maker ready as well.... I just need some men folk with time to finish this bad boy!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

When I'm 64...

Ok... Last one, I promise! This will be the last birthday month post for a year or so. (And this one is two days delayed because of stupid app crashes!)

I think when you turn 40 there is a general tendency to take inventory. You begin to look at your life differently and with more clarity. The years of hormonally driven youth melt away and you are left to boil down what's left to the things that really matter. I have been caught doing that more and more. Hopefully, I am less driven by my emotions and more likely to quietly contemplate my response BEFORE I blurt it out.

The Beatles did a song, many moons ago, entitled, "When I'm 64..." It is more of a love song about will you still love me when I am old, wrinkly and need more care than is comfortable? While that is a valid question, I wanted to do a post on what I want at age 64... Because we all know, it is all about me!

* I want to dance! (Still...) I don't want to be a sedentary mass in a rocking chair somewhere, unless that chair is a rockin"! I want to be tapping my toes, spinning about wildly and generally making my kids cringe with fear that Mom's about to break a hip! I want to feel the enjoyment I get out of the sounds of life and youth, long after that youth has eluded me. I doubt I will feel any less youthful at 64 than I do today, but I do want to have my grandkids look at me and ask this old lady to dance!

* I'd like peeps not to know I am 64, truth be told. I want to be one of those ladies that you know HAS to be of a certain age, but you just can't seem to pin her down. I vowed once I turned 40 to quit aging. I am eternally celebrating my 40th... Hopefully, those who do know me well enough will keep my secrets. Medical miracles, tiny little injections and hair color are amazing tools I plan to use to the fullest!

* I want to keep up with the techies... I know this as part of my personality very well and I doubt it will be hard to do. There are just things that make me grin from ear to ear and technology is one of them. I simply hope that in my busy life I don't fall out of sync with the newest little gadget that keeps me young at mind!

* I want to savor my life. Right now, things seem to go by at breakneck speed and I am often caught just going through the motions. Obviously I want to get this started sooner than 64, but I do want to develop a habit of savoring my moments, no matter what they are. To some this may sound like "smell the roses," but I would beg to differ. I also want to savor (in a way) those things that are not always thought about as pleasant. Without the difficulties, the trials and yes, the pain, life gets very bland. If I didn't have hard times in my life, I would not be able to truly revel in the easy times. It takes having both to truly appreciate the other. I am not trying to be morose here, quite the opposite. I want to start looking at my life's challenges through a different set of lenses. I want to savor every day, because it is God given and I have a choice. I can be unhappy and unpleasant to be around, or I can choose to savor the moment for the growth it will create and move through it looking for the good that will come out of it.

* Along those same lines, I want to cherish those around me. So often I am guilty of taking my family, friends and co-workers for granted. I need to stop that! I want to truly convey the love and the enjoyment I get from each individual that graces my life with their presences. I want to go to my Lord knowing I left no "I love you" unsaid, no hug unbestowed, no hand left unheld. I want the people in my life to know that though we may not have always agreed, I loved them for who they were and appreciated their choice of me as an accompaniment. Fact is, peeps don't have to choose me, and when they do, I should cherish their friendship, love ... whatever they happen to give. It is the people in my life that make it worth living.

Thanks for putting up with my birthday month... I have always been a celebrator! I promise not to mention it for another 11 months... maybe.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Dear 25 Year Old Me...

Dear 25 Year Old Me...

In keeping with my birthday month, I have another letter. This one is to myself on the verge of so many huge life altering choices. But then, isn't that what your twenties is all about? Finally figuring out that you don't know it all, discerning who you actually want to be and determining a path to get there.

Dear 25 Year Old Me,

It has been a bit since my last letter to you. I hope that this one finds you more willing to take a look inside and maybe save yourself some heartache in the end. It is unlikely, but a gal can hope! Just like your parents are suddenly seeming to make more sense these days, maybe you can read this letter from yourself and take in more than you did last time, oh "Impetuous One!"

That desperate feeling you have most days is completely normal. It is called a biological clock and yours is set on high. I would love to tell you to take a minute, slow down, smell the roses - but I know that you won't. You are on a mission to complete some warped check list of life goals. That's ok. It will hit you one day rather soon, that your list is missing some pretty important factors. I'll let you figure that out all by yourself. Just rest a little and know that things are about to change in a big way.

For instance, you are just a few short months away from meeting your soon to be husband. He will not be the guy you thought you were looking for, he will be so much more. There will be obstacles to overcome, heart break to work through, but in the end you will marry and find a partner you can't imagine being without. He will be your perfect counterpart, calm to your storm and so very much in love with you. You will often wonder how it was that God gave you such a partner - don't question it, just be very thankful! Remember that marriage is what happens after the wedding and it is ALOT of hard work. It is also rewarding work, if you stick with it.

There is another person waiting in the wings for you to be won over. He is also your perfect partner in some ways. Most of all, He is the perfect Lord. Yes, I know... You have steered clear of all that religious fanaticism for a very long time now and you can't imagine that you will ever go back. Your future husband will explain, however, that if you want him, you have to also want HIM. You will get it figured out and it too will become much more than you ever thought it could be. A relationship with Christ is so much more than church on Sundays and family dinners after, but then you will have to experience it for yourself. Just trust it, fighting it is really a no win situation for reasons that you will learn later.

That lovely little silver-haired lady you think of so sweetly will not be around much longer. Cherish your grandmother! Spend as much time as you can with her because all too soon she will not be there when you turn to call or drop by to visit. She is the inspiration for so much of what you will do later in your life, keep your love for her fresh and living while she is still around. She will go peacefully and quietly one morning and you will regret not spending more time with her when you could. Know that feeling is common and there is never enough time when "no more" comes calling. Make the best of it now.

Your life is about to change in a drastic and wonderful way! There are things that will become a part of your normal everyday life that are only dreams to you now - Dreams you never thought to dream, come to think of it! Trying to explain it would only cause you to roll those brown eyes of yours and snort derisively. The work-a-day world lived in the city will some day be a distant memory, and the love you will have for the life you live will be overwhelming at times. Just remember to thank God for all you are given and in someway, figure out how to give a little back. None of it will ever seem to be enough to say what you feel in your heart, but trying anyway is what makes you me.

I hope that you will look back on your days at 25 and realize that all of those crazy lists you are making are nothing more than kindling for the real fire of your life. I realize those lists are really important now... I pray that you will look back on them and love how much they freed you in ways you never saw coming!

Sincerely,

Your Much Older Self

Friday, October 14, 2011

Dear 16 year old me...

It was my birthday earlier this week. I'm much older than 16, but then my husband might argue that point given my penchant for Top 40s music, ridiculously high platform heels and skinny jeans. Despite that fact, I thought it might be fun to reminisce about when I actually was 16 years old and what I might tell myself if I could send myself a letter... Not that I would listen to any of it. I was an exceedingly hard headed teen and not all that fun to be around. In fact, I might not even like me if I met me at this age... whoa. I think a little smoke came outta my ears...



Dear 16 year old me,

There are a few things your older self would like to let you know as you embark on this year, growing ever more adult. I realize that you will not actually listen to any of this, but it may give you pause for just a split second and that might indeed save your life!

First, let's talk about your car. I realize that you think the VW bug is the be-all and the end-all right now. Cherish it. It is the most quirky and fun memory you will have about driving unfettered from here on out. You will look back on your life in that car with fond memories for many years to come. The heater that fries your feet and yet won't defrost the windshield will become a source of joyous laughter later on. The fact that your Dad tries to teach you time and again how to maintain it will give you a sense of thankfulness when you have a man who will do those things for you. It will also give you a confidence in life that you would never guess... The fact that your purchased the entire car for $250 will be a source of fondness as well. Trust me, you will never have another running vehicle at that price again!

Your Mom is about to have a baby boy. He will be a great source of joy later in life, but right now, you will be far too self involved to make time for him. Understand that that choice will have consequences, but hopefully he will forgive you. That baby will grow into an incredibly intelligent, witty, caring man that will awe and entertain you. Take just a moment to look at him and appreciate that. Even though your first date will assume he is your baby, you can love him all the more.

There is a guy on the horizon that will not be as much fun. He will seem like a good time, but give him a couple of years and you will find that he is the snake everyone will try to warn you about. Rest assured you will grow immensely through this pain. You will come to appreciate your family in surprising ways when he breaks your heart and you will also be able to recognize his type later on. This is one of those things you have to weather, 16 year old me, but it is also one of the things that will make you a very strong individual who knows what she wants in a man. Um, trust me when I say, he is not it!

You will have a job soon. It will be a job, not a career. Enjoy it while it lasts and soak in all you can. You will look back on the environment with happiness and chalk up the experience as a decent one. It will be the source of great joy as it will introduce you to the land of high heeled shoes. There is no turning back from that love! You should try to remember, however, that you don't like the restaurant business and never ever attempt to wait tables for a living... You are really bad at it! Oh, wait... You will wait tables. And you will be very bad at it!

Take a good look around that school you attend. Yes, I know, "High school is so lame!" But really, it is the last chance you get before reality will set in for you and you will spend the rest of your days earning money. It has its pitfalls, to be sure, but it is truly the best time of your life. You have youth, energy, intelligence and very little responsibility. Do all you can, go to every dance, date, join clubs, try out for drama... The sun will set on these opportunities all too soon and you will look wistfully back and wish you hadn't been so intent on growing up so soon.

Your parents really do love you, although you are pretty sure they are about the most clueless set of humans on earth. In a few short years you will realize just how much they put up with to love you and how much you made them worry. Don't fret about it. Just say you're sorry and hug them. They will prove time and again that family will be there when everyone else turns away.

Most of all, 16 year old me, you should know you will be ok. You will turn out alright, you will resurrect certain dreams later on in life and you will find love. You will have children who love you and a husband that cherishes you. You would never believe me if I told you the amazing things you will do, so I will leave that for you to experience yourself. Just know that I look back on you with a wry smile and know that without you and your impetuousness, I wouldn't be the woman I am today!

Sincerely,

A Much Older Me

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Southern Living...

I have a fixation with the Southern United States. I cannot explain it, it just is. I have always admired the sub-tropical area of my country from the time I could read about lands farther away than my back door.

There is just something to be said about the warmth, comfort and hospitality that seems to reside down there, amidst the magnolia, the azalea and the calendula...It is other-wordily, and yet it feels like home every time I am there.

My sister lives in the South... I am envious. But it does give me good cause to visit from time to time and breathe in the wonderfulness that resides there. Everything slows down, life seems to take on more meaning and the little things become so apparent I wonder why I didn't think of it sooner...

Because it is warm in the southern United States, there is more detail spent on the yards, the outdoor seating areas, the magnificent sub-tropical flora is planted and meant to be ejoyed. You spend more time out there, I love that! (I planted a hydrangea or two in hopes that I can relive a bit of that blooming splendor. We shall see how it weathers a Colorado high country winter...) The yards are meticulously kept and details like a decorated mail box aren't overlooked. So incredibly perfect!









(I want to live in this mailbox!)

There is something else about Southern Living that just keeps me wanting more... The People! Seriously, you just don't know hospitality until you have been down there and shared in a bar-b-que or a family gathering! It sure seems that Southerners have figured out that the finer things in life sum up in "folks". Your folks, my folks, the folks up the road... They take time to stop by, wave as you ride your bike down to the local farmer's market, say hello and complement your shoes. I know that most places have these practices, but in the warm sunshine and skin plumping humidity the Southern states just seem to have it perfected.

I must confess something - I love the food! Even being as food challenged as I am, I love southern cooking! I do have to be careful about the amount of fried and breaded things that are a Southern staple, but the time that is poured into each dish brought to a gathering leaves me sighing with sated glory! Baked macaroni and cheese was a foreign item to one grown up on boxed Mac'n'cheese. Not that I don't treasure my Grandmother teaching me how to make my own of an afternoon... But the crispy outer layer of real cheese and the gooey center of buttery yumminess - AAAAAHHHH! I can't hardly stand it! Even made with Gluten free Macaroni, it is to die for! It takes longer, but then that is another thing I love about the South.

Time not only slows down, there are moments it actually seems to stop... Bliss! To sit and watch ones kids enjoy their play in the pool, to share a drink and a snack with family and friends, these things you don't get to relive. These things you savor. Dinner out is meant to be enjoyed and experienced, not rushed through. Don't expect much of anything to be speedy in the lower 48... it just ain't gonna happen.

I am planning a trip to the Plantation Trace in Georgia and I cannot wait to see it through. I am not worried about being lost, someone will help me along. I am not worried about being hungry, there will be plenty of great things to eat. I am only concerned that the economy may slow my ability to get there before the beauty of fall passes.

The last thing to note about the south is something that is antithetical to most of us living in the upper 48... You don't leave without giving hugs! You may actually spend more time saying goodbye than you did at the gathering itself, but parting is a ritual that begs to be done with great contact and verve! So as I leave you with this post today, I give you a virtual hug....hhmmmmffff! and I bid you, "Y'all come back soon!"


Blog Widget by LinkWithin